A few weeks ago I wrote about the series of events that led me to my current lifestyle in The Unlikely Runner. In it, I described how living in the body I have now instead of comparing it to something I’m not has led to me having an awesome self-relationship. By being at peace with my body and appreciating all that my body and I have accomplished together, the door is also left open for me to be surprised by myself.
After I shattered my foot and had been told I would never run again, I had given up all hope of being a runner. Fast forward three years, and I was being given a glimmer of hope by my chiropractor. He told me something that has deeply inspired me; something I’ve shared with many of my clients.
The belief that you could never run again after that injury doesn’t take into account the amazing power of the body to heal itself.
The hope that I could return to running overshadowed my fear of reinjury. Now, a word of caution: I didn’t at that point go out and start running again. It was four more years before I did my next race, and a good 2-3 years of therapy and rehab to strengthen my feet and ankles before that. I supplemented my training with biking, walking/hiking, raquetball, ellipticals, and lots and lots of dancing. So don’t think that a stubborn mindset and a willy-nilly approach was taken here! We thought out our approach very carefully to ensure success.
The last time I had been running competitively, I set a goal to break under a 21 minute 5k (which comes to less than 7 minutes per mile for 3.1 miles). Through this rehab/training process, I came to peace with the understanding that I would never be as fast as I once was. There were a number of differences between my competitive high school body and the one I was training to run again. For instance:
In high school I weighed 20 pounds less. In college and afterward I focused on weight lifting, not to mention the fact that there’s a HUGE difference between the anatomy of a 15 year old and a 25 year old, both of these contributing to my being heavier.
In the years after high school, crunchy scar tissue and mild arthritis started hanging out in my knees. Thanks, old injuries!
In college I had an abdominal hernia repaired, definitely setting me back as far as training goes.
I’m sure I could continue on down the list, but you get the idea. I accepted that I would be slower than before; I embraced it! Instead of 5ks, I started tackling obstacle courses to challenge my new found strength more than my speed, and I loved it! I still did 5ks, but more as an easy workout for the weekend and supporting a good cause (as most 5k admissions support charities around here). I could complete a 5k in 30 minutes, and that was good enough for me.
Then something unexpected happened in the fall of 2012. I had signed up for a local race with some coworkers to support the retirement community. It was Halloween weekend, so costumes were encouraged and we all decided to be super heroes (I was Wonder Woman)! I was expecting the group of us to run together, but the morning of they decided to walk the race instead. It was miserably cold and I knew that the sooner I finished the race, the sooner I could go back inside where the heat was. We decided to do our races separately, which left me open to pace myself. I wanted to push myself and see what I could do, but I was also very afraid of pushing too hard. The course was entirely flat, so I figured 8-9 minute miles would be within my ability and set my goal at completing the race in 25-27 minutes.
The race started and we took off! It was a small crowd (probably because it was so cold) so we spread out easily. About a mile in to the course, I noticed that there was a gap in the pack. The race was led by three serious runners (meaning they did races quite frequently) and, to my surprise, ME!
As we came toward the finish line I realized that I was about to finish fourth overall, first female. I came through the chute and saw the hubs trotting out of the retirement home lobby where he’d been waiting.
I’m so sorry I missed your finish! I thought I had more time!How long has it been?24 minutes!
I can’t even describe what it felt like in that moment, so forgive me if I don’t flounder for the perfect wording. Suffice it to say that I was pleasantly surprised by my body and there were tears involved.
Coming back to the present, I completed another local 5k this past weekend, the On A Mission 5k hosted by Harrisonburg Baptist Church to support local charities. I wrote about it in Welcome to May and EIM Month Coming To A Close. A couple of my clients and friends were going to run it with me, and see if they could push themselves to get better times, too. After my experience in 2012, I had it in my head that I wanted to win the women’s race. The course, again, was a promised “flat and fast” race and I decided that if I could consistently finish in the top 10-20 for my age group at large obstacle races with 500+ runners, I could pull first place in a local 5k with 150 participants.
The race started and we took off! The morning was beautiful and getting hot, but it was pretty comfortable at the time. I settled in to focus on my breathing and attempt to learn more about my foot striking pattern, determined that I wouldn’t let any runners pass me. After the first mile, I noticed a young woman pacing right behind my left elbow. She was gaining on me, and looking pretty determined herself. Not willing to give up on my goal (though I did consider it), I pushed myself to go a little faster. I had been at a very comfortable pace, but I reminded myself that I wasn’t out on the course to get comfortable. I was there to race myself and see what I was capable of. I had to at least try to hold my position.
Photo by Lisa Snider
We came around the second mile and I noticed her again, this time on my right elbow. We were going up a slight gravel incline, each of my steps losing power to the loose rock. Leaning into the grade, I set my sights ahead of me and dug a little deeper. I wasn’t about to give up now, not when I’d been holding my position for over half the race!
Photo by Lisa Snider
From the second to the third mile the woman and I paced each other, both of us unwilling to yield. When we came to close the third mile, I knew I needed to give it my all or wonder what could have been. I forgot about keeping the perfect breathing rhythm, I forgot about monitoring my foot strike, I tried to forget about the stitch in my side that made it hard to breathe, and I focused on getting to the finish line. I stopped caring about where the other runner was as soon as I saw orange cones. I ran with everything I had. I ran as if to win the prize.
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.1 Cor 9:24
I came in fifth place overall, first place female this past weekend. What’s most exciting to me is how I exceeded my own expectations and made a new record time of 22:34:40! That is the fastest I’ve ran a race since I shattered my foot! Which brings a new question to mind: Does that mean I could possibly reach the last goal I set for myself as a competitive runner in high school? Would it be possible for me to shave another minute and a half off of my 5k time?
I’d been telling myself for so long that I’d never reach that former goal and that it was okay to let go of it. But I have to say that my feet felt the best that they have after a race ever (thank you, Altra!), my knees didn’t hurt, and I recovered quickly. The time I managed, in large part thanks to the runner who pushed me the entire race, was clearly within my ability even though I didn’t know it. Perhaps I didn’t take into account the amazing power of my body to heal itself.
Photo by Lisa Snider
I don’t know if I can manage to go any faster than that, and I don’t think that I need to. One thing I know for certain: I had to let go of my obsession for speed in order to see this recent success with my running. I had to come to harmony with my body and learn to cooperate with myself. And in so doing, the climate might be just right for me to be surprised, yet again, by how incredible our bodies are. I’m still learning, and that’s just fine by me!
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