So my husband and I decided to paint our living room this past week. For any of you who have taken on a similar project, you know how fun, stressful, messy, and exciting it can be! When we were buying our new paint (Valspar Funshine, I kid you not!), the sales lady warned us (as I was literally bouncing with excitement) that the fun part of painting a large room would wear off and we’d still have at least two coats to do. About halfway through the first coat, when the previous paint was still bleeding through, and my shoulders were aching, and I was wondering how we would ever get the project done, I knew exactly what she was talking about.
While refilling my roller with deliciously happy-yellow paint, I took a moment to reflect on an extremely important lesson my parents taught me about completing tasks. It was the summer of my 13th birthday and we were building horse stalls in my dad’s barn to house the newest addition to our family. My first horse, Ashah, had been a birthday present from a family friend, and she was being boarded at a neighbor’s farm until we could build her “room.”
At this point I need to take a detour from the story to fill you in on an essential teaching from my youth. My parents were careful to teach their children responsibility, and that if you want something bad enough you need to work for it. If we wanted something from the store (like a toy we seriously didn’t need), we had to save up our own money to buy it. We were not given an allowance, so we needed to complete tasks outside of our usual chores to earn money before we were old enough to get jobs. My favorite memory is collecting dandelions from the yard in exchange for pennies with my sister, which may shed light on why I felt so compelled to dig all dandelions out of the yard with the hubs a few weeks ago (read about it in Remember To Look Up). When we were older and landed our first real jobs, these lessons continued. When it was time for us to buy cars, my parents would pitch in 50% of the finances up front if we put in 50% of the time and effort to repair it. And when I received a horse on my birthday, I needed to help build the fences and stalls required to give that horse a home.
Which brings me back to that hot summer day building stalls in the barn.
Now, every young person goes through their angst phase, and every parent can relate to the statement I just made. It passes (thank goodness!), and it is largely influenced by an influx of new chemicals wreaking havoc on our brains that we haven’t figured out how to handle yet (darn hormones!), but it is very real and very angsty all the same and I was no exception. Down in that stuffy barn, with bugs and sweat and stink and my aching muscles, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself.
Right about then, my parents came to check on my progress staining the wood for Ashah’s new room. The staining would preserve the wood and save our hard work building the stall, so it was a necessary task. But as my parents came to chat with me, I was pretty close to pouting and glowering.
“Michelle,” they said to me. “We were coming to thank you for all your hard work and tell you what a great job you are doing. But you can’t do a good job with an ungrateful heart.”
Those words struck me, and have stayed with me to this day. There was no malice in their words, but that lesson was better at cutting through my awful mood than any scolding could have been. As I reflect on it today, those words really helped shape my perspective on life, work, and responsibility. It still causes me to stop in my tracks instead of letting a negative spiral spoil a life experience for me. And, starting to grumble over a pan of paint on the floor, I was suddenly transported back to that day in the barn.
You can’t do a good job with an ungrateful heart.
You can’t appreciate your blessings if you’re too busy being crabby over this-and-the-other that isn’t just right.
“You know,” I said to the hubs as I stood up a little straighter and smiled at our walls. “We’re painting our living room. In our home. That we just bought! And this color is exactly what we wanted it to be. This is awesome.”
I think we all need to be reminded about the importance of having a grateful heart from time to time. This Memoiral Day (or whenever you happen to stumble across this post), I challenge you to take some time to be grateful for all that has been given to you, and all that you have been able to do with it. Thank a veteran. Thank your parents. Appreciate the jobs you have to do around your home, because it’s your home. And most importantly, remember the power of a grateful heart. Not only can it change your perspective, it can be a great example for everyone around you.
Happy Memorial Day, everyone. Thank you all for your hard work and your sacrifices that collectively make this life what it is.
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